At dinner I grabbed his hand and he screamed "mom she just grabbed my penis" the proceeded to shove my hand down his pants! Hello Mr.Dick!
girl in the front row yawned. double jointed jaw. i know where i'll be sitting next class
isnt it sad that we can reminisce about our childhood but we cant remember shit we did last month
my bedside table was not meant to hold this many beer bottles.
Without me, you would never be able to say you partied with a midget!
No, pictures of your dick will not make me feel better about my grandmother having a brain tumor.
It feels like one of my ribs evaporated.
In sex ed. they really need to include a lesson on saying tampon in foreign languages, just in case.... Trying to ask the woman at the reception desk, who barely speaks English, for one just turned into an awkward game of charades.
Come to the roof. We are drinking breakfast.
He tried to tip me with his police badge...
and you didn't accept WHY?!
I don't think this guy is worth it unless he's a skilled sexual amigo
The girl in line in front of me at the grocery store is buying wine, m&m minis, a toothbrush, and condoms. Is it inappropriate to high-five her?
There's a potato with a bite taken out of it in the kitchen
I yelled at him as he left "you broke up with me. You lost your blow job privileges"
Just imagine a dick squawking like a parrot
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