There are thorn wounds on my balls, don't ever question my dedication to party again
i woke up to 115 texts from him all saying "do you love me??"
Is a box of franzia too insincere of a gift for "i'm sorry I backed into your toddler with my car"?
As i was blowing him Silent Night came on his iTunes. I said "it isn't christmas" and he moans "yeah it is."
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I think i morst likely have 95 %patulas for hands and probably i also went to eGypt with so manyfriends. We laids in the sarcaphoguses.
You sound pretty unsure about all of this.
Apparently I told the girl smoking was terrible for her, and then requested it in my mouth.
I slept with him because his girlfriend should know better than to be with him given is reputation. It was like sex and a lesson all in one.
I THINK I JUST JOINED A GANG. PLEASE PICK ME UP.
I tripped over a vacuum cleaner and fell into a beer pyramid
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Do I have to formally apologize to Brett for flashing him?
If there was a bread and water delivery truck id make sweet hungover love with it.
Can't. Way too high. Forgot how to operate doors. Stuck outside.Come get me.
He literally had a Trump sign in his front yard. I just can't now.
She is getting high and watching the Hobbit. I want her life.
So she is basically watching her own life story: short people traveling to strange places.
Yes. I had to slow down my handjob so he would last...-and I give shitty handjobs to begin with
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