I have said "that's the wrong hole" for the last time.
After she swallowed she let out a hurge burp. No BS. I'm the cock of the walk.
I think you have the wrong number. But at any rate, respect.
My drug dealer is spending the weekend in my studio apartment. I feel like I've crossed a line that should never be crossed.
I worked with a girl tonight that recognized me solely from a keg stand she witnessed me do sophmore year. Needless to say this made my night
he ran me a hot bath. i thought i was in a pot and was going to be eaten. i was strangely ok with this
nothing worse than sitting down ready for a solid porn sesh to find out your internet is out. comcast owes me a handjob
She blew me in the back of the cab while eye of the tiger was on the radio. Top five all time automatically
A giant panda just asked me for a cigarette and said "man pandas gotta smoke too." There is something wrong with this place.
Could have had sex with an ex NFL kicker last night.
That would've been embarrassing.
And he came all over himself. At least he didn't ruin my new lulus.
Actually though that could've been bad.
He said I gave him the best head he's ever had and I bowed. I BOWED.
I woke up while eating peanut butter from a jar. I don't think I should be social today.
He flew in from NY last night. We had sex in the back of my car in the airport parking lot and then he fed me fresh Babka (from Breads Bakery) as I drove him home. I can't decide if I love him or Babka more.
Worst wingman u don't do ANYTHING but laugh at my incompitant shyness
I was just told that I'm the Sherlock Holmes of drunken sex. I'll take it.
Randomize
