Great. There's a birthday party at work today. Now I can stand around and feel uncomfortable for an hour.
i just made a girl do the walk of shame. as a bumblebee. i love halloween.
Oscar is the man. He keeps getting pictures of hot nude women with messages in spanish saying "i hope you like it" sent to his phone
whose oscar?
the baller who i guess decided to give out a fake number at the bar last weekend. luckily that fake number was mine. i have enough porn to last me until next month.
you thought you were invisible so you started narrating your actions.
You just kept insisting that you and the homeless man went way back, and that you bonded over how cold you both were.
He tried to eat me out in the bath... I said it was a bad idea, but he said it was good snorkelling practice for vaca.
Just orgasmed in traffic. Starting to have feelings for my commute.
it's my favorite when the couple downstairs are having sex so loud that i feel like I'm part of a threesome
second-hand sex is fun, isn't it?
If you've never been pounded by an Eastern European body builder, I would highly recommend it.
Awareness is good for change and all, but ignorance is bliss. I like bliss.
I guess the lesson here is that I shouldn't send nudes to elected officials.
So, I never imagined myself puking on the side of the road at 10:30 this morning to Lynyrd Skynyrd but here I am.
One time she showed me her pierced nipples in our high school locker room and now she has a daughter
My boss spotted an injured PIGEON outside the front door this morning (at 3:30am) and requested that I catch it and take it to the vet. Catch it with what! Take it where!These requests have gone too far...
they were drunk. and loud. and now they're drunk and quiet. or dead, you never know.
Randomize
