The world needs more lipstick lesbians, if anything.
"The real world" DC house is on the corner of 20th and S. Wanna come with to check it out? It's my goal to be a blurred out face in their hot tub.
How long do you need to date somebody until it is acceptable to fart in their presence?
The real question is how long do you need to date them to dutch oven them?
You pointed at his crotch then made a thrusting motion. I think it's safe to say every guy at my college loves you.
Make good choices ;) This is your automated cockblock message
Hey, this is a mass text. I have a hospital bill from November, and I don't know from what. Did anyone bring me to the hospital on a drunken night that I don't remember...?
Please come and rip my uterus out before it does it itself
So apparently blacked out me judges a man based on what type of dinosaur he would be...
My Canadian brought me three bottles of maple syrup, a sunflower, and a pair of Oakleys back to the states...he's either drunk or he loves me
Friends don't let friends go vibrator shopping alone.
Is it sad to eat a candy bra by yourself?
You're my best friend, so I'm kinda scared to say this, but.....I kinda feel odd when I show up with you at your family events and I have banged or blown at least 3 people in the room
It was beautiful and filled the audience with hope for the future. :3 I wish I could speak more but sleep werk nighty
I asked how you were doing?
There. There is gum on my butt cheek IT IS NOT MINE
I woke up in a bathtub full of green and blue Nickelodeon slime! wtf?!
Randomize
