Sooo i definitely have a major burn on my chin from kenny's ...stubble from making out for hours while coked up. Pure class.
I dont ever wanna see you tell my little brother to "spread the seed" ever again
funny how all you have to say is "i'm infertile" and boys are stoked on you
When I left you were in the shower in your socks throwing up screaming it was blood but it was "ok" cuz it's recyclable. By the way it was kool aid.
Im about to smoke a huge bowl. My penis is so happy. Who needs girls.
Shawn wouldn't stop singing about his cock on the ride home that night it freaked my girlfriend out how consistent he was
"Wine night with the girls" turned into me having to set an alarm in the bathtub this morning...
My dick pics could make it to the popular page on Instagram.
are you just sitting in your hotel room drinking popsicle vodka?
.....well anything sounds bad when you say it like THAT
I just got dropped off by that cop that pulled you over. Best sex ever! Consider that $140 ticket my birthday present.
But don't thank me for faking being asleep, if I was the real wing man, I would have left the bed
Your vagina felt like having sex with thanksgiving mashed potatoes. The best kind of mashed potatoes
Allow me to explain. Triple D is a surprise. It's like if you're expecting to fight one person, then you get ambushed by more. Except it's a good ambush, because it's boobs, not death.
Awake! can you bring me my pants...im under the couch
He was fingering me and I came so hard that I actually broke his wrist. We're at the ER now.
Randomize
