He's on drugs...like drugs for horses.
Just come over and take your pants off. 35 mins tops. You'll be home before midnight cinderella
i need you to babysit me first week back at school. havent had tequila, adderal, or sex w randoms in 3 months
Just threw up in the waiting room. I can't believe I have to switch dermatologists again.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
say 'i' if you broke up a fight involving your father at TD bank today....
Oh my god I forgot there were Band-Aids on my nipples
Lets ignore the fact that you want to turn your dorm room into a sex dungeon and focus on the real issues here.
All I could think about while he was going down on me was that his moustache reminded me that I want to try something new with my pubic hair.
He just made my one night stand pancakes for breakfast. And I thought living with my ex was going to be weird.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Life achievement unlocked: I just ate a Slim Jim "Lady and the Tramp" style with a guy in a bar.
I knew it was Christmas when someone handed me a stocking filled with airplane bottles. Ps just woke up 3 days later
all im saying is 27 is too old to still be drinking 40s, you make more money than me, buy some decent shit
screw you you golddigging beer snob
Despite how often it occurs, I have absolutely no interest in having sex with myself
I’m getting reeeeaaalll tired of telling cute boys I gave them chlamydia.
That’s two in three months. You really know how to live.
I Never thought my late 30s would end up with me getting eaten out on a desk in the managers office of a lululemon, but I guess being a franchise owner has its perks!
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