her vagina probably looks like a grenade went off in a deli
I convinced her san diego was a state. all the proof I needed was saying, why do they call it san diego state university?
i just wasnt prepared to have the baby of one of two french firemen. threesomes are too confusing.
Did everyone make it back alive?
You say that with such hope.
Is that a no?
You turned byob into bring your own shit show. Good work.
And I really REALLY don't feel like cleaning cinnamon off my penis tonight.
I'm considering having a threesome with my friend just so I can sleep with his boyfriend and not feel guilty about it.
Omg this is like trying to sleep on a pile of ballsacks.
Other than trying to finger me on the couch in the middle of the bar a few times, you were fine.
I'll do my best. he just keeps yelling beer and doing dick helicopters
Literally sucked a dick for ten seconds before I said to myself, this tiny ass penis isn't worth it. My night last night
Went on a blind date. Afterwards I ripped my pants off and said "it's game time". He was into it.
I wish there was a tumbleweed emoji. Because that would describe my vagina.
We just FaceTimed and I put an Oreo in my vagina for him. Now he has to fly across the globe for me.
Just waxed 95% of the hair off my vag. If he doesn't enjoy this tonight, you will, whether you like it or not.
Randomize
