He's gotten way too comfortable around me. He came into the bathroom and took a shit while I was in the shower.
He told me he was ok to drive home. Then I found him face-planted in the parking lot.
I can't wait until weight watchers comes out with a beer
he came over wasted, used the bathroom, drank some water, and fell asleep holding my hand. what kind of a fuck buddy does that??
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just rolled over and found your boyfriend in bed with me. Is mine at your house?
now I know why they wanted me to come. apparently gay guys are stripper magnets
Called Jeff last night and told him I wanted to have sex in the airport terminal. Blackout Brooke definitely came out last night.
I want to get business cards and hand them to hot guys and say " hey if you ever want to like makeout and pretend it never happened call me"
We both work at 8am and I have to shower but my roommate is passed out on our bathroom floor with the door locked. Merry Christmas.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I think we have it figured out.. She's my wife when she's here and gives me advise on how to get ass when she's 1500 miles away.
I survive off of bourbon and the tears of others only
I've lost every trace of self esteem. Even sneaking a BJ in the coffee room has lost it's luster.
He asked if I had any questions. Apparently, "how thick is the stick up your ass" was not a correct question.
Idk if my headache is from the alcohol, the pot brownies, or being dragged down 8 flights of stairs by my ankles because i passed out in the 12th floor girls bathroom by you. Probably a combo of all three.
I fucked her with a giant balloon tied to my dick. You tell ME how my night went
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