And now that i don't feel so bad because you're not pregnant the $15 for the pregnancy test I bought would be appreciated
I'm not sure if what i'm hearing downstairs is sex or not, but if it is, it sounds like there's a dog involved...i'm mildly concerned.
It's like playing clue with my own life. I have to piece together what I did, where I was, how I did it, and who I did it to
Aside from the fact that there's a penis in my mouth, that's a pretty good picture of me
I want to tell everyone I've ever met about how he him picking me up and fucking me against the wall was the highlight of my life. Worst lesbian ever.
Everyone is out there getting real jobs and I just realized I've been "washing" my clothes with fabric softener for two months.
I really wanted to pound but her roomate was making mac n cheese n shit so I was trying to time her moans to the drone of the microwave
My dad made a joke about you sending me strippers for valentine's day so clearly everything here is normal
No more house parties. We're almost fucking 30 years old and I slept until 6 pm.
I took my makeup off with mouthwash. Seemed like a good idea. It worked.
I'm sorry I tried to spit drugs down your throat like a baby bird last night.
There’s a special place in hell for tall guys with small dicks
Let’s try it, I’ve never had a bad time with sex, tacos and beer.
is it fun? or sober?
Thanks for going with me today. It’s been a long time since I bought bra and panties because of a guy
It’s called “shopping for lingerie” and it’s one of the many exciting and sexy things that follow a divorce, along with sexting, sleepovers, and orgasms
But, our next lesson is picking up a younger guys at the bar!
Randomize
