Last night he was fingering me with one hand to his ear, calling himself 'dj clittles'
Thats what happens when go home with guys that wear shutter shades to the bar..
he just texted me two pictures of his dick. i feel i should rethink whatever vibe im obviously giving out
so is it as big as he says?
he put a tube of toothpaste next to it as a reference. it looks legit
she was so ugly that the sight of her made me shiver and then i had to play it off like a draft blew by that only i felt.
I'm always impressed by your drunken ability to quickly gauge how long it's been since you've shaved and whether or not your prospective hook up will care.
Yeah I hope so. Definately just saw two freshmen in very authentic togas and cotton ball beards. This new class is stepping it up.
Someone just asked if you were the one who rode around the bar on some girls back
I'm mortified. After he finished, he turned to me and said,"So, what did you think of my mom?" WTF Please tell me he was not wondering about that while he was going down on me!!!
As much as I enjoyed playing drunk half naked twister and talking about my daddy issues last time, I'll have to pass.
At one point my little brother was Rocky Balboa'd by a stripper's tit
I'm not gonna ask the guy I've fucked like 3 times if he is insecure about his eyebrows.
You start to question your morals when you wake up at 430 and there's three people naked...that you don't no
It was hands down the most magical fuck I've ever had
It was the only fuck you've ever had..
I’m gonna slowly take you in my mouth and push you deep into my throat so my lips are right up against your body and then I’m gonna fucking bite your shit off if one more of our friends shows me a snap you took while I was giving you head. Are we clear?
Do you ever wake up and realize playing beer pong with your parents wasnt a dream? Your mom really beat you
you know you should be lucky to find the case to my dildo....that means no more random guys at the house!
Randomize
