Well I thought that next 8 ball would either kill us or turn us into Gods
idk why but i just wanna to have sex with the idea of him. i don't even wanna meet him.
She went to college and exploded out of the slut closet.
I just walked by that girl who tried to commit suicide over me in high school. That was weird.
do you think you could subtly ask him about the dimensions of his penis?
I would like to apologize for making you the target of my "I wish head hair grew as fast as Pubes speech" the other night
Weirdest sensation ever: having your penis fall asleep. It was like tiny hulk hogan was choking it out
drinking from the bathtub cause I'm too lazy to walk downstairs and too thirsty to care
Just opened up the freezer to find chocolate penis popsicles. Too hungover for this shit
I think I caught your cold through my vagina. It was worth it.
At this point, I wouldn't be surprised if he laughs at all of our attempts to keep him sober.
Well he offered to lick my asshole so...I'm not really worried about his interest level.
You kicked my dad IN THE NUTS right when he walked in.
Sorry, man. Thought he was a cop.
It's still fucked up that my mom let me think Vanilla Ice was my dad for YEARS just because she thought it was funny.
I just got offered free tattoos if I smuggle some guns from OKC to Dallas for a guy in the hells angels
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