Our friend ended up naked, bleeding, requesting we throw a couch at him cause he was convinced he could block it
We did he did.
When I say naked, I mean penis exposed. Not in boxers
i an so hammered right now. I'm about to pass out but i just found the lion king dvd and i'm so happy words don't even describe.
I'm gonna name my first kid mufasa regardless if It's a boy or girl
I dumped him because he's never seen star wars. I'm certain I did the right thing.
I couldn't even finish, she was lounder and more annoying than DJ Khaled
I think she must be bulimic. I mean, every time I see her I know i want to throw up.
The taxi driver was cool until you left. He then started blasting enya and telling me I look like I need another line.
One question: Why is your trash can full of blood and pop-tarts?
Please tell me nicole sent the picture of the ejaculating penis to you too, otherwise I'll feel really awkward
Keep in mind that he's 43, unemployed and living with his parents. There's really not much we could do to make his life worse.
I want to wear something that says I'm a lady (but I have condoms!)
The perfect world is just rainbows and rocknroll and good sex. With the occasional stripper ridIng a horse. I spelled occasionally right?
I can't keep up with all the guys you're banging. I'm just going to start referring to them by city of origin.
Is it wrong that the only reason I'd want Savannah in my wedding party is to watch her whore around and drink?
do i respond to the booty call for the guy with the bigger dick or the one who has the gourmet coffee i like so much? at this point i'm leading toward the coffee
So I fell alseep while I was motorboating that girl last night infront of the entire party.
Randomize
