wakey wakey hands off snakey
I'm scared
There's nothing to be scared of. My penis is average size.
That's what I'm afraid of
well we can cross tagging a chick in a movie theatre off the list of things to do before we die
He is either going to be in my pants or get a restraining order against me.
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does drinking everclear count as brushing your teeth? because i think they are sterilized
i almost hope i AM knocked up so i can ruin the rest of his life
If I give you a key to my place you have to promise to one day wake me up with a blowjob.
And by one day I mean once every two weeks.
Yeah. You can ask him out. We're just fuck buddies. My vagina will be sad but your heart can be happy.
So, I'm tripsitting Ruben cause he's on LSD, and he's starting to eat the chair because 'it is evil' according to him... I can't choose: should I stop him or film it?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just got high and apologized to my vagina for getting chlamydia
He said the pain stops when I get my shit together and stop being a drugged out alcoholic mess. Could have just said no.
Just walked by a girl saying to her friend "honestly you coulda given me any dude and I woulda fucked him"
You should've introduced yourself
I've had to take two showers today and it's not even 1 o'clock. Why won't this weekend wash off?
Pregnancy has ruined porn for me. I can't watch a hot chick get it on without being jealous of her perfectly waxed shit. I can't even see my shit.
If I take one more surprise finger up the ass this week there will be hell to pay.
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