It's a miracle Ok Typing texts toYou right now
I looooooove Saturdays!!!!!!!
I am absolutely hammered
I am watching Grease 2 and properly learning how to apply a condom to a banana. This is a sign from God that this is the closest I will ever get to having the need for one.
Holy jesus god. My teeth taste like street.
Nah, lets use your guy, my drug dealer is going all pineapple express on me
That's the last time I fill my pockets with sushi.
I don't know what he did but now I'm terrified of mustache rides and it's only movember 3rd
This is so pathetic it makes me miss snorting lines alone in my room listening to 'one more drink'.
they pretty much knew i was there to get drunk and fuck their daughter
Your last day of twenties? OK. Then I'll give you til midnight. Then you turn into a pumpkin. A big, 30 year old pumpkin.
There are a bunch of highly educated, advanced in their field, PUSSY ASS BITCHES in this bar
Nothing says thanksgiving like acid flashbacks
He's beautiful. His facial hair makes me wanna cum in it
Ew, no. But yeah I feel the same
This is exactly why you shouldn't bang your bartender. Although the awkward free shots are a plus.
Some guy just walked past the bus stop in a lab coat and with a samurai sword and case...
I was told I look like trouble once and that was by a fireman at the sex show. I was carrying two beers and a penis pinata.
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