My ? Is...... Would it be sweet or creepy to take a girl on a first date to chigago?
creepy.
I accidentally had phone sex last night
And just as he was about to come, he screamed "Oh Christy!!"
What's wrong with that? Your name IS christy.
He then said, "Oh shit, sorry Julie."
in the event that i am dead, my body is laying in the intersection of ... the pearl in springfield. it was my friend's 21st but i think i'm dead. wearing a black top. like i said, probably dead.
Nothings more american than taking a shit with a handgun next to you.
new midget porn idea. Wizard of Jizz: Munchkins Revenge
Heads up. We filled your kiddie pool with kool-aid and vodka. Things are about to get Out. Of. Hand. Quickly.
Is percocet and coffee considered a balanced breakfast?
She said I was the most selfish person in bed she's ever been with and she's fucked Tucker Max.
learned the hard way that breakfast jack daniels is a lot stronger than lunch or dinner jack daniels.
I just found weed in my bra #magicboobs2k16
Hey, thanks for helping me this morning
Always a pleasure to feed you bread as your body lay crumpled on the floor.
Ugh. It's days like these that make me wish my bad habits would kill me faster
i've got three words. i. was. spanked.
Its like a glacier coming out of my asshole.
Randomize
