he thought he was parachuting out of a plane... talk about a bad trip.
Watching the gap toothed girl get more ass than me is almost devastating.
I just took a shit with a lightsaber in my hand. Dreams fulfilled.
On the oral sex Super Bowl board I drew 7 and 1. If I get lucky, someone will be swallowing during Madonna's half time. I'm sure she'd approve.
There was an unopened condom by my car when I went to pick it up this morning. Someone may have fucked on the hood of my car last night. Don't think it was me but I can't rule it out 100%.
I just dumped bong water and Bacardi out of my purse into the trash can. Everything in my purse is soaked. I hate Sundays.
They're fighting and it sounds intense. Cross your fingers for their demise
Toss in some raw meat and play heavy metal music. It will insight violence.
Dude, I traded weed for crunch berries. Happy Thursday.
Officially crunch time. It's my last year of grad school and I've yet to get blown in a school library. The parking garage was less than a block away though.
He danced with some other girls and you started yelling "I can't believe I wasted half my Chili's gift card on you" at him
You threw up a gallon of vomit. I really have never seen anything like it in my decade of partying.
the bouncer just handed me a Starbucks bag of pound cake
Sorry you uh had to see that last night. That's the problem with open fields, no privacy...
some guy had a sword and everyones crying..it turned bad..fast.
I just motorbotted some guy and my hair got stuck in his nipple ring...owww
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