i was so high that i was eating crumbs of my bed only to realize they were fuzz thingies. fml.
Michelle and I recorded her bunny humping it's little rubber black ball.
What part of "you pissed in the tent" do you not understand?
so if i die before i go back to school its because the thing we found in the hallway that i've been smoking out of is a crack pipe
that freshman chick we always see on the weekends walked into art class wearing a jaegermeister shirt and holding a monster, which she proceeded to shotgun with a pair of scissors. It sickens me to know I will never achieve her level
Have you ever had one of those moments when you kept whispering to yourself "I'm not a slut, I'm not a slut..."?
watched two friends get underages. one had a shirt on that said lets get wasted while the other said to the cop "i understand your just trying to do your job but that was dirty bro".
I got hammered with my chem professor at 4:30. I'm pretty sure that can't be topped by any real sort of institution.
I just got invited to party with a bunch of elderly lesbians I am in no position to offer life advice
When you're high, you dance like an injured velociraptor.
She said she wouldn't get out of hand. When the cops showed up she jumped off the 4ft high porch and fell into a ditch. She then buried herself because she was wearing light pants and though the light from the cops flashlights would reflect off her pants. We couldn't find her for 40 minutes.
I mean I only got hit in the ass with ONE firework
There is no issue with you seeing me...morally or ethically. we'll update your resume anyway. I really need to have sex with you later. Really
I like your optimism Chelsea but I'm not about getting my salad tossed
I passed out in your bed last night...there maybe a snickers and twix bar under your pillow
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