So she puts out... but it wasn't worth it
I just woke up my dad to tell him that i made out with the drummer. He wasnt as excited as I was.
I just named my vagina "The Boneyard"
More like "Chia Pet"
So I'm seriously debating forwarding these sexts to his horse faced new gf including the ones that say he still loves me... but I still need his check to clear... decisions decisions
Stop banging my friends. This is getting weird.
Stop being friends with hot 18 year old girls.
According to this USDA thing I just read, I should either get upper respiratory issues or begin to bleed from my nose and mouth.
Haha yeah this costume is worse than I imagined. I look more like a gothic hooker who caters specifically to creepy men with doll fetishes
As a matter of fact, I am on the treadmill with the Bottle of UV Blue as we speak.....
He was making a joke about signing my name on this piece of paper. He has a whole bucket filled with names on pieces of paper. I think thats how he keeps count.
She was yelling at the tater tots, "In five minutes, you're going in my mouth!"
I keeping finding meatballs in random places
Sometimes I think he has a hidden camera in my vagina so he knows what I'm doing and saying at all times...
Okay so the couple who keep propositioning people for threeways are def siblings not bf/gf
So are you gonna do it or no you said they're hot
Why is it pressure? I want to see your cute face and possibly sit on it. You make it like its a bad thing.
I was just informed that I asked for a glass of wine at the police station
I'm sure it would have gone very well with the cigarette you lit there.
Randomize
