it hasn't hit me that college is over yet. so far at home, i haven't brushed my teeth, taken off my makeup, or changed clothes before bed.
You said that we had to leave the party together and proceeded to repeat the "ducks fly together" speech from The Mighty Ducks word for word. Soon the whole party was quite and started chanting quack..quack...quack..
I woke up on a futon in some strangers house. They were eating pizza and told me everything was going to be fine.
They called me at 5 AM saying they had a present for me
Dude, you can't even imagine the trip, I actually thought that there were Care Bears sitting next to me at the bar, I'm pretty sure I started hitting on the pink one.
Please send me a thumbs up pic afterwards. No homo. After you've redressed and are heading for the walk of shame out of course
Today in French class my teacher was singing "what does the fox say" so i started answering in similar satanic ritual noises
You hit a new plane of existence as we all watched in awe
I'm developing all these feelings it's disgusting.
Had weird bad dreams about you last night. Please tell me you didn't google my real surname and that you don't go to a needle exchange.
I've had more sex since the twins moved in than I'd had in the previous four years. They are the best wingman ever.
Don't forget to bring $1s for the strippers. Make it rain!!!!
Thanks, mom, will do
I should probably add her on Facebook for as much as I cheat off her in Physics, huh?
Hot guy next to me on the flight lives near my grandparents. There’s a 100% chance I end up drunk and naked in his hot tub
Happy Thanksgiving to me!!!
be the chaos you wish to see in the world...
i'm trying to figure out how to respond to that in text
Randomize
