sorry if i was weird last night, had weird deja vu that we had done that before, i mean with the peanut butter.
we had.
well that explains the rash. i dont think i should see you again.
I'm so drunk I cant read cursive anymore.
my professor just said "the power of the situation"
drink
I wouldn't take my shot so you poured it on my face. Twice.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
we hotboxed my bathroom. with nine people and two dogs.
Wise words from the guy who drunkenly chipped his teeth on the sidewalk
Crosswalk actually
An hour ago, you were stranded out of state, and now you're getting laid? You are a god. Whatever you do, don't ask her name.
It's like I just got slapped in the face with the cock of nostalgia.
I had sex with marker all over my face so I can do just about anything.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Don't patronize me, I thought of that on peyote, so it was basically like a message from God.
I know now that the cab driver can get me a 10 dollar blow job. I'm practically a local.
You came down the stairs dressed as winnie the pooh and kicking cups off the table and out of people's hands
I was about to google "rabies and sexual activity." Then I realized I was at work.
Why do my weekends always degenerate into using my little brothers childrens board games for drinking games?
A fire alarm is going off in some building, people are running around naked and people are passed out in the MIDDLE of the sidewalk. If they ban parties again, I'm going to be pissed.
Randomize