so just saw tiger woods pull a page out of his wifes book and hit some kid in the head with a golf club
I need to get my pants from under your porch. People are asking questions.
hey you forgot your wet suit in my room you can come grab it whenever
4pm update. Theres smashed cake inside my duffel bag, a vodka bottle in the dish drainer, and the most productive thing ive done is make 40 pigs in a blanket
I told her shower beers are even better when you have someone in there with you and she said she's been looking for a new drinking buddy. It's a goooooo
Do you know how hard it is to be while you're high with a chuck Norris poster in the bathroom?
I miss the days where our biggest worries were who was gonna win battle shits.
I realized it was late, and he was my brother in humanity and another incarnation of my own life force and consciousness, so I regained control of myself, thanked him for helping me, and went home.
I've seen you go skiing on a Tuesday, but you think you're too good for TGI Friday's?
I'm recovering from the blowjob...She's doing her taxes...
looked it up online and zoo tickets are only 20 bucks and there's also a museum of science close to the hotel.
i'm not going to a FUCKING museum. i want to be wasted and possibly double penetrated... have you EVER been on vacation?
dude if looks could fuck you two would've been naked in front of everybody
I duct taped a bottle of vodka to the back of your closet while you were sleeping in case of emergencies. Go rip it off, it's going to be a long night.
I'm sorry I missed your birthday brunch. If it makes you feel any better I woke up wearing someone else's toga and a sombrero
thanks for the bj man. also make sure you close the gate behind you. the chickens are out.
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