Oh man dude like 1000 to 1500 milligrams. Its gonna burn like bad though.
so i just saw your dad embarking upon a biking journey in full reflective gear
...this stays between you and me
Just found 50 pesos and a coke spoon in my dads old shit. Gotta love the 70s
Since when is my name a synonym for head?
Love is....waiting for your girl to throw up her shot in the bathroom...then handing her her beer. Game face.
I feel like I should be doing a victory lap around my house to the rocky music, or zapping and smiting people with my mystic wizard powers
My crowning drunk achievement from that night was donating $5 to the Obama campaign.
You're perfect
FACE TIME HER WHILE YOU GUYS BANG
I saw this news story about two naked Satanists being arrested so I thought I should ask if you need bail money or pants
I re-seduced my fuck buddy...must be the luck of the Irish!
He obv doesn't know that telling a woman to chill will get him murdered
It's a race to see if I finish the bottle first or my homework
You are now at the point where people no longer question whether or not you might be on drugs. They now know for certain that you are
The weekend was a blur. There was vodka and penises and orgasms. I played a game of Cock Roulette and won big
His idea of hot sex is sticking his finger in my dark star while doing me Missionary style. You can tell he's from the Bible Belt.
Does he smell like BBQ?
Inside and out.
Randomize
