It must have been true love
I don't call true love eating a bag of doritos and then going down on each other
You think the Elephant Man ever tried to pick up chicks claiming all his appendages were elephant-sized?
I really like him. That's why I'm having sex with someone else, so he doesnt think i'm a slut.
69 is so not fun when his penis is sporting a 70s hairstyle
What did you even date her?
because emotionally unstable girls are great in bed.
God gave me these boobs for a reason other than for people to throw things down them.
Do you think she hates me because I thought her roommate's name actually was Butterface?
I repeat the shot was ON FIRE. I am never going to a pirate bar again.
Luke did at least 8 shots of pure mayonnaise last night. I am not sure if that is better or worse than my 2 cement mixers?
Ya well here is the deal with last night, it was the Biggest shit show we have ever co-stared in.
He's sweet and rough. A wonderful contradiction. He's the starburst of sex.
Like I'm getting finger banged and my family is making cookies in the kitchen. Talk about terrifying
Chili is not acceptable fuck buddy food.
Just walked out of the train bathroom after having sex and got a round of applause from the passengers. Definitely the best part of the trip.
He was cute in a Sketchy-trying-to-sell-you-a-vaccum-at-9-at-night kinda way.
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