Thank God for loud music. There is a circus in my butt right now.
Do NOT cum in me, on me, or in my bed.
I had to puke in a pizza box on the drive home. People saw.
I guess calling a coworker a lesbian sea cow is some kind of violation.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
"Guy Time" translaed into 10 shots apiece and me waking up covered in my own blood.
He just did blow off my nipples. He's not serious about his girlfriend.
She was surprised when she saw all our living room furniture was made from old kegs. It's like she's never met us before...
I think I found out what we're going be for Halloween....Alcohol poisoning victims.
An open call to all exes! i have a drunk text policy that requires i delete any and all texts after drink 3, however i have reason to believe i have done something stupid. if i have texted you that "I love you", "miss you" and/or conveyed any interest in getting back together with you in the last 24 hours i was belligerent and lying. That is all.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
crossed #23 off the Slucket List!
YOU JUST MADE YOUR SLUCKET LIST THIS MORNING.
First memory of my senior year: Going into registration still drunk from last night.
When i sexted him a pic of my boobs I was worried he was going to notice the dorito crumbs and know I was just eating topless
This heat and humidity do not mix with these braless DDs and a tank top at a BBQ.
Wanna get mid day margaritas tomorrow if I'm still alive
My professor is wearing skinny jeans, orange socks and just said penetration. I don't know what to think
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