if you are receiving this text, you are one of the people i hate
There is a man walking 2 goats through the city.
Bonus: only one of them was on a leash.
I will also inform you that stairs change when you change a house. Those hurt.
i love how cold weather makes identifying sluts easier. is it below freezing? is she wearing a tube top? she's easy.
If letting him bang me while i'm wearing reindeer antlers and a painted red nose isn't the christmas spirit, I dont know what is
Sorry I fell asleep again. I'm in the shower now. Door is unlocked. Condoms are in my desk. I want your game face on for when I get out.
Hey is there a picture of me in a trash can on your phone?
She rode an inflatable shark down the stairs. Viva shark week.
I just farted a soft, gentle fart and it made me think of the eye puff glaucoma test at the eye dr. I hope that's not fart air they use for those. And yes, I'm texting you from the toilet and yes again, I'm high.
banged a milf last night. she left right after cause of parent teacher conferences this morning. victory.
Apparently there's nothing on sonza for "giving a handjob while sunbathing"
Woke up at 10 with bourbon being shoved down my throat and him yelling, "shot train! Don't be a bitch"
Lol I think I might have been a little aggressive last night there is a blue ass print from your jeans on my wall
Hey remind me the get the pancakes out of my jacket
We were all having a bath, the three of us, then that drug dealer guy walked in and peed. Sitting down. Apparently he didn't want to offend us.
Randomize
