The class that normally occupies the room we use for my Monday class had to do posters as if for a Hamlet movie and they pick actors for each character and this person wrote "Robert D. Niro"
She saved the condom from the first time we did it.
My grandma had to be escorted out by police.
Did you know that if you hit someone in the head with a frozen loaf of bread you can knock them unconscious?
Hahaha it was a great moment in my life. This must be what post child birth feels like, given you don't get a combined asshole/ vagina
When did I go from having sugar daddies to being one? And does it count as a tax write off?
My philosophy professor just told the class that he is suspicious of dolphins. The stoner in front of me totally gets it. I need to start getting high for this class.
Do you know what the cost code is for strip clubs? I'm filling out my company expense report right now
What should I say back?
Well, how do you want the conversation to go?
Straight into my pants.
Fucking shoot me with this y'all shit. You were in Texas for 2months you do not have an accent Madonna
Sure go ahead and start this 'business' with him...just don't come crying to me when you have to fake your own death in two years
YOU CAN'T JUST ADD EVERYONE WHO ENTERS MY VAGINA ON FACEBOOK WTF
She was on top, but I lost her at "alright, you look like predator."
Nothing like walk of shaming to the bus stop in your bar clothes at noon and seeing the fire truck you work on drive past with the other shift giving you thumbs up.. Brotherhood at its finest
a day off where I don’t get laid would be worthless
Randomize
