That was definitely a porn plot just waiting to develop...
you got so mad from losing a game of beerpong that you went into another room by yourself and practiced for an hour and a half.
Smoking bowl and applying to community college. I now know how I got here.
Pretty much knew it was gonna be awful when the extra condoms she had from her ex were entirely too big for my dick
My overnight senior got drunk and hooked up with Kaylee on Sunday. I checked Facebook and he already put down his deposit for next year. This school should pay me a commission.
you know you made out with my sister while holding Ur girlfriends hand while she was puking in the toilet right
i caught myself talking to a pigeon about my yeast infection.
all i could think about while he was eating me out was how pretty his eyelashes were
I'm expecting you to come by soon and a magical night of sex and floating on clouds to follow.
I think girls have an advantage in chugging contests. We know how to just open our throats.
It was all fun and games until he noticed the hickey that he hadn't given me...
She throws back shots like they are NO-THING. I swear, she goes through like five straight tequila shots, does a jello shot, chases with half a hot dog, has a rum and coke, and then takes her shirt off and makes an impromptu bandage out of it for fuckin' Tim who cut himself on the flagpole. I'm going to marry her.
Pretty sure we're going to get a cease & desist notice from the Make A Wish Foundation, but until then...
dude wtf why are there forks in my wall
does "I AM MAGNETOOOO" ring any bells, because that was you for an entire hour last night
You tried to run away last night. The neighbors brought you back.you were in their hot tub again. This needs to stop
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