You surviving the open bar?
Super asto ex polenta omaha botad
If we keep treating our bodies like amusement parks we have another 10 years left at best.
Stop. You don't mean that. Tequila might mean that. But you don't mean that.
wtf
I'm guessing you saw the bathroom?
Ur keys r in ur purse. ur purse is on the couch. ur cigs r on ur front seat. u drank all ur wine. mollie took ur jkt bc u cockblocked her. and in case anyone asks, the saints won 31-17.
new level of vanity: sex dreams about deep throating myself...
My cousin's dog just exhaled smoke. My job here is done.
Wow. A quad shot of peppermint schnapps. I feel like I just deep throated a candy cane. Best 21st ever.
JUST MADE A FLAMING SLED. MIGHT HAVE 3RD DEGREE BURNS.
When the shrooms kicked in we both simultaneously realized we were not the right puzzle piece for the dubstep puzzle.
We made eye contact and were like we are not welcome here, the ravers are onto us and we need to get the fuck out before we get shuffled upon
Yeah thats cool. We can play the alphabet game while doing bumps of coke in the back of his volswagon
She pinched my nipples out of nowhere as I was about to come... I think I found god
Mom and dad should be so proud half of their children have gotten naked in the same local grocery store
We will let tequila do the talkin this weekend
I had a good weekend too...although I cried about the dog in a drunken stupor last night...not one of my finest moments, but it's all water under the bridge.
Randomize
