It's just you. You wear the fuck me fedora and wear baller shorts, hollywood hippie who thinks she is shakira when she's drunk.
What the hell do I have to do to get some foreplay around here? This sucks.
I think you know the answer.
How can I marinade myself in Vodka?
I woke up to the bathroom door of steak n shake hitting me in the face at 4 in the morning...
I feel like you just avenged me for every guy who came in my hair
If I can't get a one-legged man to love me, what the hell chance do I have with a NORMAL guy???
I wonder if that one guy remembers you sticking salami to his forehead when he was passed out on new years eve.
I don't think my prof knows we've noticed her No Bra Fridays.
Would you be offended if I asked you to smoke a blunt with me while I pooped?
She sucks dick like Beethoven on piano, but talking to her is like Simple Jack in Tropic Thunder. Still working out the pros vs cons list.
i am an animal i am literally locking myself in my house and not coming out for a week i don't deserve to be in public
The last thing I remember was riding in a grocery cart with two strangers while a cop pushed us
If I send you a picture of a dick will you give me your honest reaction?
She called to tell me she just hooked up with my crush...and that he talked about me...not sure if I should be pissed or excited?
That was my first party and they were so suprised that this little freshman girl was a FUCKING BEER PONG QUEEN.
Thank god you don't know my other address I'm safe for now
Awww you know you would like it if I found u
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