belinda wants 2 know wr u got ur butt pads
i dont wear butt pads that thang is au naturel
Yeah...right...LMAO
just tell him i said nine months
booty call
i swear to god if you come over i will kick you in the pussy.
Believe it's possible to jerk off while watching the food network.
Grilled cheese is the best thing. ever. better than boys, and alcohol, and sex, and chocolate, and money. But not really the last two.
Lots of alcohol. 3rd graders fuck me now.
Auto correct or actual 3rd graders?
i sound like a 75 year old homeless man that has spent all his panhandling money on cigarettes since he was 12. that rough.
The cops knocked on our door just to ask us if we were really having a no-pants party.
I don't know... But I do think this is probably the longest series of texts we've written discussing your cock. David was right, it is a brave new world. Also, slow day at work again?
I remember just enough about last night to wish I didn't remember anything.
I need to stop drinking alone, I wrote a love letter to my tattoos
4 out of 7 roommates in one month isn't that bad if you think about the fact that 3 of them were in the last 24 hours
coughing up blood. I'm leaving for the doctor now. P.S. I just won $350 on the wheel of fortune machine in the casino.
I didn't know how to commemorate his death, so I snorted a fat line off of his obituary. Rest in peace.
I just found out why people like handcuffs.
Randomize
