So I have to go swallow an entire zebra. Ur on ur own girl.
so he came in my eye... should i throw out my contacts?
i kept saying "bloody hell" in a ron weasley accent until i forcibly told myself to shut up
he just put it in my mouth and said "go"
you know he's having a sex change. I can't believe you called him "titty man" to his face....
He passed out on the patio with nothing on but his boxers. So we put our beer caps on him. Yeah he woke up with a polka dot sunburn.
Everyone was high fiveing on their a walks of shame home. God im gonna miss college life
Had sex to a Lionel Richie song. I have a feeling I was conceived to it. Finally reached full circle.
if that's jizz on my steering wheel i'm gonna be pissed...and impressed.
Is everything ok? Last time I missed your call you were being arrested.
Was in the middle of a keg stand, the frat guys dropped me, and I broke my nose. My mom didn't enjoy that call from the hospital.
Seriously, he's as bad as Joffrey. I hope this ends like Game Of Thrones did.
Wait... so you had sex and then your ear drum ruptured? I'm not sure if I want to ask if the two are related...
Remind me to tell you about this weekend with them. It was the least fun I have ever had drinking. And I have thrown up pork and beer through my nose on the side of the freeway.
Sorry I had sex in your backseat while everyone was in the car
It's quite alright. I found his shorts in my backseat, not sure what he was wearing when we dropped him off
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