Yeah and Nick is shooting his loaded 9mm in his backyard.
Last night you told her she was rocking the beer gut. Still wondering why you have that black eye?
this kid in class is playing minesweeper and just slammed the desk because he lost. thank god were normal.
Can we end it on a good note at least? Can we fuck and then never talk again?
Don't underestimate her when she starts going by "the vodka queen"
We found him in the neighbors shed using a bicycle as a blanket. We just left him there.
Awkward moment: seeing and saying hey to the MILF you're sleeping with while shopping with your mother and sister.
We don't watch enough power rangers
I woke up wearing a headband made of condoms. It was supposed to be a crown for the "prettiest fag hag" award I won last night. There is lube in my hair. I'm going back to sleep
I praised you last night for winning a chug off...you thanked me with a ridiculously hard headbutt. Thanks dick.
My rule for unemployment is that I can't smoke before noon.
I haven't gotten up before 1 though, so it hasn't really impacted me.
My blue shorts are now brown from all the stripper fake tan
Science requires me to take a picture of your nipples.
chicken nuggets make me a bit homicidal
Lol, maybe a little bit. I don't know. I don't keep a super keen memory log of dicks honestly.
Randomize
