remind me not buy ky at kmart ever again. Had to get a manager to open the locked case. then he stood there and watched me look through the selection
I hate that ur telling me this.
I have sucked so much dick this week I think I am going to start sweating semen
I feel I need to conquer him. He's six ft eight and 265lbs. Its like the mount Everest of sex.
I was batman and I saved her. Then we had sex on a rooftop.
My first sex dream, I blew myself. Yours definitely wins.
I fed him pizza in bed. I'm probably the best one night stand ever.
Two options. One, you listen while I freak out. Two, we have mediocre to awesome car sex and don't talk. Either way, I'll be there by 7
I'm having a martini with dinner. A new level of class.
I'm stoned and eating mustard, also a new level of class.
We were so sore from having sex that we decided to fix it with more sex. It's the hair of the dog for sex hangover.
I'm only fucking women born in the 90s this summer
Thanks for having me over last night. Sorry I licked rum off your kitchen floor.
Almost lost a vagina lip in the great shave of '16
I'm sorry I keep drunk texting your boyfriend sports updates.
That's okay. He needs friends too.
I gave her a cheerful high five and she turned to me and said, "we should do that with our genitals." I may have to marry this girl.
we finally found him at 2 am. he was 3 miles from the house and tried running into the lake when he saw us pull up. i don't think he'll be taking ecstacy again any time soon.
She played the piano. I played the piano. She got on top of the piano. I got on top of her.
Randomize
