so now she's a stripper
can't say i'm surprised
walk of shame into the pharmacy with a busted up chin and laughing the lady at the counter rolled her eyes at me when I asked for the morning after pill.
the wall and i were having dominance issues.
I'm not judging you... I'm judging our friendship
What if this is the rest of my life? Sitting at the bar waiting for someone to play Single Ladies
Oh god, so much rum. I think I was in a shotgun wedding with a Bacardi promotion girl.
Last time I went to flagstaff I threw up in my beard. I would very much like to recreate that moment.
I don't have any money, so I'm just gonna press my boobs against him for his birthday.
So my mom wants me to come swim with dolphins with my little sisters in October. I'm not sure how to tell her I saw a "when dolphins attack" special when I was rolling and am now terrified of them.
She's wearing her dead grandmother's pearl on the married finger so no guys "bother her" tonight... I am not THAT committed to Girl's Night.
How do you leave a condom wrapper under my mom's pillow...
This may not be the best moment to laugh, but I am.
I just overheard this sorority girl saying "It's like trick or treting but for alcohol and with no costumes." I'm jealous.
I mean I kinda plunged vagina first into my last relationship
so the kid in line in front of me at walmart just bought roses and a Plan B pill. Happy Valentines Day.
I JUST NEEDED TO TELL YOU I JUST FUCKED TWO BOYS IN THE SPAN OF LIKE THREE HOURS AND ONE OF THEM WAS MY SISTERS PROM DATE FROM HIGH SCHOOL IM LOWKEY BOTH PROUD AND ASHAMED
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