Dude, no joke... I lost my wedding ring in some skank last night
U Should have said " it's ok baby most girls Sh*t when I do that.
If she's not going to maintain the upkeep of her vag then I'm not going to pay the rent of being her boyfriend
watching E! true Hollywood story: curse of the lottery.. i'd probably spend all my money on blow and airplanes too..
These 19 Guys Hit The Cougar Jackpot
I should just tell him this. He doesn't need to be all nice and ask me on dates and to do gay stuff like hangout during the day. I'll still sleep with him regardless.
two gay guys came in and bought just a kite and a box of wine. Why cant I have saturday nights that awesome
From the prices on this menu it looks like I have no choice. I have to blow him.
She won't let me open the car door while we are on the highway so I can throw up outside. She deserves to have her car thrown up in.
Who's nuvaring is under my pillow?
35 Disappointing People Who Failed At Sexting
We interrupt your regularly scheduled Saturday morning programming with this important announcement: you are not the father. I repeat not the father. Congratulations and have a nice day.
She looks like she smells of sausage, sunblock and sorrow.
Come in your red robin gear. If you smell like French fries we can make love.
I'll be in SoCal at my bachelorette party, aka embracing a fireman covered in KY and chocolate shavings.
My vagina needs a break, I had to ice it with a beer bottle last night.
Can't really tell your Mom you are moody due to dick deprivation.