How do i ask the guy i made out with for 4 hours if he is gay? He keeps telling me i'm so adorable and that he had a ''blasty''
But, I don't have the body of a porn star, so nobody would hire me. Unless they're doing like a trip to the safari and they need an albino rhino
well, if it gives you any insight into how crazy it was, i am currently wikipediaing "anullment"
If you don't sleep with him after showing him your thong with the bow, I am no longer on your side.
she asked if i had a condom...i said yes...when we finished it wasnt on...told her it was at home on my dresser.
When I unzipped my pants I said "Release the Cracken"... she dug it so we're getting married soon.
when I picked him up he smelled like cheeseburgers, had a bite mark around his left nipple and we think someone stabbed him in the forehead with a pencil... it was like the Hangover meets Texas Chainsaw Massacre
Just grabbed my laptop and a beer to take a shit. Mom gave me a look of disgust. I miss college.
He walked door to door asking if anyone needed to get laid. Surprisingly, that ended his drought
You sent me a picture of you licking the bottom of a shoe and the caption was "it tastes like shoe"
you know, i'm always afraid you're going to think i only want you for sex because i only text you when i'm horny
speaking of, guess what i'm thinking about
Who knew wearing a toga outside would provide for and infinite amount of dick to choose fron
Either of you know why the shower was on and the bathroom door wide open with no one in there at 6 in the morning?
I got to my internship late... with a bag of chipotle and sex hair.
three of my fingers are bleeding and the only thing on my phone rn is a google search of 'Allison Janney'