idk, it's all black and i hear low talking...
dude, i think you're in initiation!
shit. that's not good.
from now on, im only gona ahve sex with my boyfriend.
Heyy I kind of wanted to apologize and excuse myself for last night. I feel like that was a little much. I just met you. That's why I don't like tequila. Haha
threw up in my backpack again. Asian guy I cheat from wasn't pleased.
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I can only imagine the horrible things my future wife is doing on spring break right now.
He is to the point where he forgot I was in the front seat of his car while he was taking me home...that stoned
i think i figured out where our problem might have started...when we poured more tequila on top of out margaritas to melt the ice bc they were too cold
hahaha or putting rum in the bbq sauce?
It's amazing how many friends she makes simply by carrying that flask of whiskey everywhere she goes.
She kept biting his ear when he was talking to people, that was only 3 drinks in...
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I just wanna be craddled in his arms and spoon fed applesauce..
that's the most romantic thing you've ever said.
he attacked my vagina with the force of a thousand suns
.It's like gods test of willpower against vaginal comfort
It's funny because every time I go up and down the stairs it's an adventure. A A DRUNK ADVENTURE. PS I ALREADY THREW UP WTF
"You're the only girl I haven't made out with yet" = worst pick up line ever
Living alone for four weeks has given me unrealistic expectations of pantslessness.