talk about how much treatments for your hpv hurts
Really? You have stories that rival having a threesome with the two best friends of the guy your kinda seeing? Thats impressive.
Thursdays are my worst days
but now we sippin champagne when we thirstay?
he proceeded to grab my vagina through my leggings in the middle of the dance floor. strangely enough I was okay with it
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Just tell your wife to stay in the car because you are self conscious about drinking infront of her. Now you have a DD AND we can still have a good time.
You just kept yelling, "THAT'S THE POWER OF PINESOL, BABY!"
omg just made cake vodka jello shots, sooooo excited
dear god these taste like death. death and sprinkles
Can we just talk about how awesome I am. I just slept with a new guy while listening to the previous guys bands cd.
I also have to vacuum the broken noodles out of my suitcase...
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I just crashed on my couch and have no intention of ever getting up again
I will be over with a bedpan and beer
I found all these half eaten mandarin orange on the ground and the bruises on my neck are definetely not hickies
They're playing house music in my dentists office again, wtf is wrong with these people. That's not the music you want to get a root canal to
And then he dove into my vagina like scrooge mcduck into a room of gold
I keep worrying the police are going to come looking for us.
For which one? Starting a fire on my porch or having sex on my porch?
Idk what's happening right now but im wearing a tutu and pissed as fuck.