The boys are giving me the exam answers and I don't even have to expose my body..yayy engineering!
At least he could have found a MILF, she's a dbl bagger. No wonder he goes to counseling.
Yeah..you can't spell Prozac without Zac(h).
As I was leaving the drunk tank the cop told me he had a feeling we would be meeting again real soon.
What do you want me to say to her? "Oh hey, I need to borrow your soon to be husband to make a porn, cool?"
Just drive me around campus, I will be able to smell their innocence.
im honestly just eating salsa and looking at his penis
So I cleaned out my gym bag. Found half a bottle of malibu.
You know, I could pretend I'm shocked but what's the use?
Uhh, there's a legit bruise on my boob.. Again how does he manage this
I really hope your new roommate never finds out we had a threesome with a bisexual British guy in his room the night before he moved in.
Just got assigned a beer bong as hw in fluids to demonstrate the inverse of pascals principle. I love this prof
thankfully we both ride of shamed home together on razor scooters in dresses because we stopped for breakfast sandwiches too
I came in like 30 seconds, and my dog got to watch me take the walk of shame to the bathroom to clean up. All in all, not my best performance.
'allo, good sire. how dost thy day goeth?
oh no. you're at that weird Renaissance Festival thing again, aren't you?
I am an inebriated elf. you may fucketh off.
I possibly am a tad bit not really but maybe slightly intoxicated.
I mean, who hasn’t been fingered in there back of an Uber?
Randomize
