wtf someone played my fucking brickbreaker games and lost i had ten fucking lives. ughhh
maybe you did when you were drunk
no way, i wasn't THAT drunk.
I just told my parents that Capt'n Crunch does weird things to my mouth... my dad just stared at me
i blame lastnights decisions on friday the 13th
you kept saying 'can i put my penis on the grill?' and it was all i could do to stop you. you're welcome, though
This is even worse then that time I fucked a guy just because he had air conditioning.
whoever put homecoming and halloween on the same weekend owes me a new liver and a get out of jail free card.
Someone just got kicked out of the mall for being dressed like a giant cat. I feel like this is in your future.
He was so good, that I'm pretty sure he fucked his religion into me. P.S. I'm Jewish now.
and it seems i've caught your masturbating bug. thanks.
When the cops pulled up I just stood flat against the fence with my hands up while yelling out,"I'm a tree!!"...
Just watched my entire extended family eat salad out of the bowl i threw up in last night.
I'm going to have to have a long talk with god if my soul mate has a prince albert
How did you not realize the handbrakes were stuck?
I thought I was just out of shape.
Smoking a bowl in nothing but a flamingo thong.
I never thought in a million years that I would have a threesome with my boss and his wife and yet here we are.
Randomize
