I just ate a cockroach and I want to be a fire truck.
making an appointment with student health services to check out my pinkeye on 4/20. they are going to thing this is such a joke
Ok love is a little strong. But he consented to Nachos, beer and board game date with my cats. Keeper.
It's like playing clue with my own life. I have to piece together what I did, where I was, how I did it, and who I did it to
Using a Nedi Pot after doing lines... at least I'm a health conscious drug user?
Everyone makes mistakes, yours just means you will forever be known as the chick that tried to steal a cheese plate from the funeral.
I'm doing this for my boobs. They miss him.
That awesome feeling when you are pooping on the same toilet that nobel laureates have pooped on
To the person who put the glitter on my ceiling fan...fuck you
I would recommend NOT getting ass enhancement shots.
I just got a lap dance from a sexy cop in return for giving him his sunglasses back. I think this is going to be the beginning of a really great friendship
We set around a table in a hotel room and he spoon fed Molly to everyone there... I felt sketch for sec but then... Oh well.
let me assure you that a rugburn on your forehead is the worst side effect of tequila i have experienced to date.
3 hour lecture of my biology teacher talking about isotopes and space shuttles. I'm way too high for this.
that's the second time my extensive knowledge of taylor swift has gotten me laid
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