she's about as cool as a sandpaper handjob.
it took me about 5 minutes before I knew it was in her ass. i thought the first time would be a bit more special
she was pooping while we were on video chat. new level of love.
My roommate threw his shoe through our window and I came out of my blackout kicking holes in my wall. Pretty sure Edward 80 Hands won't be happening anymore.
Watching the gap toothed girl get more ass than me is almost devastating.
a kid puked on the floor and instead of, you know, cleaning it they cut a square out of the carpet with a boxcutter and threw it outside
I took an adderall. This is weird. My eyes are really wide open and I am really good at staring. I've written on 9 peoples walls and updated my status. I am getting shit DONE!
Itll be like a collage of penis. And not that abstract, one penis in a big painting contemporary shit. Collage....
we somehow managed to fit a llama, a stripper pole and a hayride all into the same day.
My fuck buddy is great and all, but it gets weird when she gets in arguments with her BF in the driveway
He's on the floor in just a Burberry tie. All my girl parts just tapped out.
Is it bad that I want a job purely so I can buy drugs with without feeling like I am sacrificing my future?
Why do you think I have a job?
My one night stand said I love you, opened my fridge, stole my cream cheese and left.
If walking through the neighborhood with a bottle of tequila and margarita mix is postgrad life, I'm okay with it
i was so high when i left this morning that rather than make sandwiches i threw bread and peanut butter in my backpack. a whole loaf. and a whole jar
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