Sexting assembly today. Fuck yes
i'm touring the leper colony via mapquest street view so we dont have to go there
He wanted me to blow him while he was playing guitar hero. there will not be a second date
great sex! but now the fight over who sleeps on the wet spot starts.
I just single handedly caused ferngully by printing the wrong 900 page document
well, 500 bucks doesn't grown on trees, and i need that bear suit for any chance of vagina access.
I don't want to talk. I just want to motorboat those tits
i feel like this needs to be a 'lose some teeth' kind of weekend.
So what's the verdict on pumpkin smoothies with vodka? I puked.
Either I'm drunk or judge Judy has 3D commercials...so I think I'm drunk. Also I may or may not haven eaten a hoagie on the toilet when I didn't want to stand up
Ah that wonderful moment when you realise the bookmark you were using in a book you lent your mum is actually a receipt from a strip club
I sit across from him at graduation so I get to stare at him and think about how I fucked his step brother and laugh to myself
Thanks for leaving me with drunk gabby
Hahahaha why what's happening?
She's sending me morse code through the wall....typical
why is there a thong in the fridge-NOT MINE-and a half of a pickle on the stairs?!
I don't wear thongs. The picle was for dipping. Ill explain later. Lacy or plain thong ?
You’d probably be happy to know that I think I’ve mastered the skill of knowing “my type” and then steering clear
FINALLY. I THOUGHT THIS DAY WOULD NEVER COME!
Randomize
