i just pissed myself at work. maybe they'll buy the old coffee spill trick
like i told you yesterday: virgins, blood, my name. do it.
I promise you 4 toothbrushes taped together and lube does not do the trick
mondays should just be called national damage control day
I'm not as easy in Europe as I am in the US
Only because you can wipe your slut slate clean & start anew. It's a little known benefit of our currency exchange.
No, you always delete them without reading. Enjoy the virtue of morning innocence. What are you doing today.
You are going to be so proud of me, I'm wearing underwear AND tights. That's two layers more than usual between my vagina and the world.
He ate me out while I was wearing a tiara.... I think I could get used to this
So would it be tacky to offer my services as a future attorney as an engagement gift for her?
I'm bringing cupcakes to work today as an apology for my actions at the bar last night, my boss probably can't look at me the same ever again
In my dream, you became a famous tap-dancer. Congratulations.
Because 9 pm Thursday you drink a loco cause you just wanna get drunk and have a good time with your friends. Then you wake up on Tuesday and you've had 17 locos and you're pregnant, lying on the side of the road, 3 states over. THAT'S why we don't have only locos parties.
I was chasing disarono with Bacardi and watching ice cube movies. It would have been an epic birthday if I wasn't by myself and actually had some decent friends.. Hint. Asshole.
Should I be concerned that he called me mom when I got in bed on top of him?
I consider walking to the bars and dancing my exercise and I buy doubles so my drinks r heavier so that's my arm workout
Randomize
