is it true guys wash their penises in the sink if they think they're getting laid at a bar?
it's more of a rinse.
It would be worth it to see how drunk he is right now.
He cartwheeled into the side of the neighbor's garage.
Ok, i'm coming over
the ice cream truck is coming omgomg
dude, it's 2 am.
but its COMING
at least he lost his v-card with a bang... or should i say the clap.
Somewhere between the 2 hours of sex and her urgently rushing to work she manged to steal all $329.33 in my jeans. Worst one night stand ever, she even took the pennies.
Getting my nails done with Diana... I'm going for the keep your friends close and the girl who's dating the guy you want to fuck closer
At this point, just throw that mattresses away. Or bronze it and display it as a testament to your shame. either is good.
They have a house rule that you get a composite for every 5 guys you sleep with. Where should I hang my new one?
I'll give you some choices for what to get me for Christmas. 1.You naked. 2.You naked 3.You naked.
My mom told me to get it out of my system now bc once I hit 30 it's not acceptable to get "white girl wasted".
This isn't good. I can't find my mom. This is why we don't give her Fireball.
How weird would it be for me to get 1 hour photos printed at CVS of my partially or all nude?
He's a waste of a perfectly good penis.
I'm too drunk to remember your name. I'm too drunk to recall where i'm currently at. And i'm too drunk to give a shit.
I used to want you to marry him...Now I just think you deserve a bigger penis than that.
Randomize
