I don't know which is worse: knowing all the free porn websites, or knowing which days they update their free porn.
some people wear their heart on their sleeve but you just wear your vagina on your face.
with your flexibility, and the size of my penis, amazing things are possible.
You've eaten a Lean Pocket for every meal for at LEAST 3 days now. Get your life in line.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
we made out at a charity event. really i was helping the fight against aids...
Petting the cat and listening to "you've got a friend". This is why I smoke weed. To make sense of situations like this.
I thought stuff was gonna go really bad after he filled the super-soaker with kerosene. but it all turned out pretty well.
I can't turn my head to the left, I'm pissing out of my ass, and my finger went through the toilet paper today... I need you.
Real reason I can't work: it's Tuesday. I get stoned and watch buck Rodgers in Tuesday.
Jesus Christ you're perfect.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I mean.. listen to "Put It In My Mouth" and you'll get the gist of my voicemail for you.
Get drunk. Masturbate to his picture. Fall asleep. Repeat. Fuck summer.
Is offering to blow your HR rep considered an ethics violation?
Lies! You took my virginity, and now my cigarettes!
I’m home. Please don’t call me unless you have an arterial bleed or you’re on fire. Love you 😘
He's the one named Andrew. In his profile picture he is the one on the right in the monkey costume.
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