Your mouth is God's brothel.
from now on my penis is your penis
Now he's talking about how he's writing in a journal because he doesn't remember "his thought patterns when he was in elementary and that's distressing". I'm walking home. Fuck this.
we just bought Vicodin from the Chinese delivery guy, this day just keeps getting better.
You wouldnt be able to explain the can of green beans in my mailbox, would you?
Yes, he made a MIX CD for our booty call...
Just woke up to find myself in a random bed with two people next to me having sex. I thought it would be awkward to just suddenly get up so i think I'm gonna lie here and pretend I'm still sleeping.
And then he serenaded me with "Pimps don't cry" from 'The Other Guys'. If that's not love I'm not sure what is
I think now I understand why people say my penis is pretty.
I don't know. What do people who don't get stoned do?
I was eating leftover taco bell in bed at 3 in the afternoon. I can't throw any stones
Drink. Fuck. Waffle House. Repeat.
He just got out of surgery, almost died from shooting him self with an arrow.
I’d feel the same about religion. We can talk about it, but I want you to go down on me first
Thanks for driving us home last night. Also, blanket apology for anything I may have said/done. I blacked out sometime near the t-shirt cape incident
Randomize
