they just came back. i guess "were gonna go get dinner" means "were gonna fuck for 5 minutes at the little league field"
Hard to imagine a reason apart from blow jobs that I'm awake at 530 am.
I just stuffed five dollars in my near empty box of camels to remind myself to buy more. And my mom says I don't budget my money
I'm in a trailer park. But I'm not scared. The virgin always lives.
Its funny how you denied every part of the text except " you hate fat ppl"
She was moaning so loud as i walked out of the room her roommates gave me a standing ovation... i think they are next
Got home to the hotel 3hrs ago per texts sent not in english to not a full phone number
I lost a whole day of my life. Apparemtly I was using my deodrant as a phone. And is my phone there?
If someone told me one person in the department was secretly a death eater, I would suspect her, no contest.
Ims textiofg thsi woht my noes bcuz my hansd aer stli handcuffde to teh bedfrme. Help me
He was only in jail for 4 hours before he was someone's prison wife
I just saw a kid on iowa campus story that looked like the guy i made out with on spring break.
While strippers were eating ones out of my boobs, several sources claimed trump shared classified info with the russians. We should get hammered on Mondays more often, bitch.
For future reference, when he drunkenly screams "YOUR MOTHER SUCKS COCKS IN HELL," he means that he's about to throw up. Invest in a bucket.
I just bartered a blowjob for the ex-fiancée's engagement ring. FTW!
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