Only in Alabama do they play hymns in a bar!!!
In these economic times, linking arms taking tequilla shots with your boss as an underage girl is the best job security I can think of
Hey. Did u tell any1 that I use Nuvaring?
Cuz 1 of ur bf's frat bros just asked me if I wanted to "play ring toss later"
Me and a lesbian played "may the best man win" over a bi chick tonight... I lost, still fun though
In case this wasn't clear when i said being his wingman was "hopeless", his date walked out on him when he poured a beer on his head trying to shotgun it
I'm not an expert but calling her the "hot lesbian" isn't going to coerce her into a 3some with you
There is ecstasy everywhere. Get over here right no5w. The 5 is silent.
Taking a semester off always leads to bad things like having a baby or getting married
Some might say its sad that I am willingly picking up a coke habit to be the skinniest bridesmaid... I think it shows my great dedication and proves I should have been maid of honor.
Life seems so much brighter and more vibrant after you have sex with a 20 year old. It's like how Kansas was in black and white and Oz was in technicolor.
The tequila covers up the fact that the choco liquor tastes like sadness.
To confirm, you are a grown ass man and you just asked me what her vag looked like.
You drunkenly promised dick pics on your way out the door and then never delivered. I don't know how I'll ever be able to trust you again.
The only reason you haven't shit yourself yet is because you don't like having fun.
I smell Vodka. It's me. If anyone asks it's totally hand sanitizer.
Randomize
