either fucking kiss her or kick her ass to the curb. Either way I can hear everything you are saying
Just saw the homeless asian lady making a hispanic man pull her shopping cart with a harness. I love Boston.
she looked like the bat from fern gully.
do you know what's more awkward than a positive pregnancy in a public bathroom?
not a thing
walking in on a stranger's positive pregnancy test in a public bathroom
Blowjobs in the shower are a lot like blowjobs not in the shower. Awesome.
I think I explained what happened in the voicemail. But I think I might have just cried and ranted about how cool osiris shoes are
I would say I am sorry for punching you last night, but I found the pictures you took on my camera and it all came rushing back.
Listen, it's not like I meant to bust the window out. It just sort of happened. And I'm also sorry for stealing your dads bandanas.
At this point if I didn't go to work hungover I think the whole place would think something is wrong
My boobs are feeling quite sensitive so I told them, " you is smart, you is kind, you is important" that should do the trick.
When he pulled it out last night I asked if that was as hard as it was going to get. I think I may have offended him.
and then I partied with my new dealers deaf pit bull. All around a good night I'd say...
how don't worse things happen to you?
Haha. I have resting bitch face. He has I want y'all to die face. It's a subtle difference
This time tomorrow I will be drunk and in a voodoo shop
But what is a man profited, if he should gain Joe Biden and lose Alex Trebek?
Randomize
