i thought he was 22...he said he was 25..he was 19...im 26..it doesnt count if you dont know right?
My RA just tried to write me up for having sex too loudly during quiet hours.
I can't get a boner in the bathroom of a buffet.
I feel like vodka or no vodka, you'd still be trying to button your cat into your comforter
We should probably avoid doing this again, but hey it was a nice one time thing to tell the grandkids about... Hopefully they don't end up being YOUR grandkids.
Your last words were "i'm gonna motorboat the bartender." then you commenced with an attempted motorboat
151 hangover. Need apocalypse.
to have them in my mouth would be like meeting a unicorn while floating on a cloud of glitter
either i huffed spraypaint or ate out that makeup artist. you decide.
i just called my dad a bottom. he agreed
My head is just one big fuzz right now.. Its like someone replaced my brain with a teddy bear
Bacardi 151 is like a past nightmare I'm still curious about
I repeat do not go to a jail visit drunk, those stools are easy to fall off.
I think one make out session at a bar per year is probably the best choice.
Yes I went home with her last night. I woke up this morning and ran into my boss on the way to the bathroom. Monday is going to suck at work.
Randomize
