When we ran out of red solo cups we switched to Starbucks cups for beer pong... Who doesn't want to live in Seattle?
We discussed how the marijuana was making the dopamine float around our nucleus accumbens last night when we were high. Yet another example of how our science classes are perverting our good times.
I love college. Only here at ten in the morning can you hear "Man, hot sauce on my pussy was my worst idea in a long time." while walking down the hall.
whats the proper etiquette for returning a closet door to a random girl you met and do not know her name?
Not exactly sure why you felt the need to get the halloween decorations out. But waking up to 7 carved pumpkins really scares the shit out of you.
getting a black eye the first day of spring break really sets the tone for the rest of the week.
There's a warrant out for his arrest for throwing a mannequin through a bus stop.
They reenacted the scene from the lion king where mufasa talked to simba from the clouds. As high as they were they got it word for word. There has to be an award for that.
It's times like this I miss having my nipples pinched
Never let a one night stand shower at your place. My razor, lotion, and brush disappeared. #girlcode
There's times when I need to be plowed... and I'm ashamed to admit auto correct was able to predict that entire sentence.
My glasses were in the garbage this morning
I'M TOO HORNY FOR GRAMMAR!!!
I think I just scared the sex out of my booty call. He saw me at the grocery store using one of those "future mother" parking spots right next to the handicap ones. He just made eye contact and drove off. I regret my laziness.
"Why is there a bottle of Tequila taped to the fan?"
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