yeah she is the one who tells people i beat girls.. which ironically make me want to punch her in the face
i hope kanye doesn't show up to patrick swayze's funeral. " i'll let you get back to your funeral in a minute...but michael jackson had the best death of the year. just sayinnn ".
we have to get out to the bar earlier. all of the guys are already committed to the girls they're going home with.
I have more bruises, scratches, and overall soreness from my birthday weekend than my car accident.
It really ruins the moment when you have to ask to resend the nude pics.
Tell your boss that he's keeping you from eating a fuck sundae off of these 36-24-36 34 D's waiting for you at home on Valentine's Day.
Just start grabbing cocks. It can't go wrong! Just say you thought you knew him and wanted to check.
All you need to know is that isn't jizz
I have a new favorite bar game. It's called, get dressed up and go drinking alone then make up random stories of why you are alone to look less like an alc
Stop getting drunk and running away. I can'tell chase you. Iim in heels and have big boobs. Running is a bad idea for me.
I think our maternal nature is best focused on grown ass men and cats.
There's nothing like when u really click with a stripper
We had a company shotgunning beers contest in the parking lot today, and I won. God bless America!
He invites me over for to adderall and chill. Academic Tuesday
She yelled Carpe Diem when she orgasmed. Is it too early to marry her?
Randomize
