Just did shrooms. Don't feel shit! Wsasted 40 bucks on this! Nothing's happenig except for this little gnome on my shoulder and the couch is melting. Fuckin waste of money.
were with a gay guy with a minnesota accent. think about how funny that sounds.
I'm seeing double. Its like being in a room full of people
woke up in Sigma Chi. In his room. they are iniating pledges right now. Holy fucking shit mother of pearl.
I think this breakup is Gods way of telling me I deserve a bigger dick
Hey man, sorry I chased you around the house with a small table.
I just ate four packages of Swiss Rolls. Being high and on food stamps is AHmazing.
apparently the last bar didn't like my halloween costume with syringes filled with whiskey
puking in a sink with a garbage disposal Fucking. Rules. It's like you're punishing your puke when you're done.
My night ended with Em alternately crying and throwing up in the arms of a guy wearing a cutoff and a tiara. I sat holding a garbage can and wine glass full of water wondering how our night got to this point.
Even dream me is a champ at smoking weed
We will go to karaoke
Okay, well, i'm covered in paint, haven't showered & have already been drinking, so if I fall on the floor in a blaze of depeche mode & beer tears, you can't pretend you don't know me
Just puked in a cup. Poured it out the window.
Slap a cop in the butt for a felony charge. Check.
I peed in front of kids, unfortunately
Randomize
