i have a $600 bill for my ER visit in which they did nothing but suggest to me that i am an alcoholic.
dude, when you're random girl from last night came down the stairs this morning she fell all the way down. I laughed. She just walked out. I hope shes ok. Tell her I give her a 10 for that landing though.
Im at the zoo right now high out of my mind and feel as if the animals are watching me and Im the one in a cage.
You two were too busy to notice that his used condom landed on me when he threw it.. Thanks.
Can I have my ID back now or are you using it to crossdress again?
Dude I think my special talent is falling in drunkenly falling in front of a cop and getting away. This is the second time.
Not much, just your average college male Sunday cleaning period blood out of the carpet.
Tell me you're kidding.
Besides scarred, I'm not much of anything right now.
We shall study the pictures later and see if his penis is worth my time.
So neither of us had a dollar bill and we couldnt find a straw so we spent all nite doing coke through penne pasta
Never thought I'd say this but the maple syrup flavored vodka probably wasn't our best idea
I threw up in a Buffalo Wild Wings and then got a high-five. I really don't understand America
Can we make sure camping doesn't turn into forest-orgy?
Lol, last year was UNREAL
I don't think a gay three way is the best way to confirm your sexuality.
That moment when a stripper is the one that makes the two of you have to define the status of your relationship...
When the people downstairs start talking about drugs, I second guess buying my drugs from them. Then I remember they are cheap and convenient.
Randomize
