I could be a Disney star with the amount of nude photos of mine that get leaked.
I know im too high when i think porn has an interesting story line.
nothing says happy new years better than a black eye from shooting yourself with a champagne bottle
i can tell by the sound of your bed that he isnt that good at sex.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
And for your info. Don't pee outside with glow sticks. People will still see you.
I was trying to be really smart and save 10 dollars for each cab there and back. ...so I ripped a $20 dollar bill in half.
Concert was great. Tackled the lead singer. Met him afterwards. He was cool about it.
This is what we get for YOLOing our way to obesity
maybe her throwing up on me was a foreshadowing of how she would later metaphorically throw up on my life
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Because everyone is allowed one half drunken 7:30 am walk back to campus in a cowgirl costume, right?
My dad wants to dress like mitt Romney tomorrow night and tell trick or treaters they owe him candy.
Shit. I'm suppose to call the bank but I'm too high to talk numbers.
Get this. He's a red head and he works at country oven bakery. He will forever be known as the gingerbread man.
Took his shirt off. Announced he was Jesus. Threw up. Asked me to cuddle him to sleep. And then tried to kiss me. Typical Saturday night.
Oh I had the weirdest dream in which I was an archeologist stealing a golden dildo from a snobby British person
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