I don't think brook has ever known best
i wasn't about to bring her gummy handcuffs to her father's funeral
Just hooked up with the fireman who put out the quesadilla fiasco last tuesday.
Just lifeguarded a kid's party hungover so I could afford to go out drinking tonight. Circle of life shit goin on here.
I just ran into the married chick you banged 2 years ago at our apt! She asked me if I could get her coke! Memories bro. Memories
So I'm trying to figure out if starting the day running around the quad in a black t-shirt and bikini w/ a drawn on mustache is a good way to start the day...
The paramedics came back to shotgun beers with us.
So I went tanning and I burned my boobs.
They're like sad pomegranates.
Woke up with two different flip flops on sum burnt at the beach. Who are these French kids plz come back
He's all enlightened and liberal. My next beefcake will be much more Neanderthal.
moral of the story: if your going to mix ambien and free skyclub alcohol, take a direct flight or have a layover in a city you wouldn't mind having to return to for a court date.
Wait are we really having an orgy on Tuesday?
Omg there's puke under my pillow. Clearly I puked and tried to hide it. From myself. \n
I sprayed his whole room with my perfume and left lots of my hair on the bed. So now if he does bring her home, the bitch will know this territory is marked.
Listen, I just paid for a hotel room, so I didn't have to have sex in his car. I'm adulting successfully.
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