ok plan lets look hot and dance like whores.
Oh. And what's the twitter protocol for following the guy you blew behind a shed?
Let's just say that watching the sunrise in a space helmet is really the only way to do it.
Y'know, "Class cancelled because Professor is stuck in Mexico," is not something I expected in college. Let alone, "Professor is stuck in Mexico, AGAIN."
23 Roommates Share Secrets Their Roomie Thinks They Don’t Know
I'm really hoping to find some quality strange ass tonight while at my court appearance.
I'm so bored right now i'm literally Googleing all the possible ways to get high with household items as my mom is sitting in front of me..
All I want is for every tall lanky young guy who is reading in a Starbucks to go balls deep in me. That's all.
Tried to drunkenly hop a fence with my cast on to get away from the cops but ended up falling over a bench.. how do I explain those bruises to my parents?
I also just told a guy I was available for counseling in case he needed to 'bang' things out. I've become a monster.
29 Cringeworthy Situations People Realized They Shouldn’t Be In
He's under the table sobbing because he doesn't live in a taco if you ever get him this high again I will stab you
I've found myself wondering why I WASN'T naked before, but I generally always know why I am naked. Except now. WHY THE FUCK ARE WE ALL NAKED
My dick looks like crazy bread
pics are now mandatory
Deciding whether to take my sex toys home for Christmas will be the biggest decision I make this holiday season
I found a guy who will take me to the Olive Garden and he is CONVENTIONALLY ATTRACTIVE.
My room looks so cute. Who wouldn't want to hook up with me in here?