apparently i peed in my fridge last night because my vegetable drawer was filled with it.
The only good thing about ohio is that i can get 2 half gallons of soco for 40 bucks
I'm cheering for the colts this year. I basically have to since my fake says i'm from indianapolis
He is now tagging himself in my pics from last year where he is barely visable in the corner. i feel like he's marking his territory.
21 Horribly Evil Pranks To Play On Your Drunk Friends
Its not the fact that i woke up wearing a tutu that bugs me its the fact that i have 75 photos of me wearing a tutu on facebook
Nothing like an alcohol-fueled, 6-hour-long hunt for weed--complete with occasional breaks for sex.
She really is something else.
Words cannot describe what though. The best way to describe her is to say it like watching a bear and a whale have sex. You don't know why it's happening or how. But it's rather funny and you can't look away.
The hookup that almost was... Both partys too drunk to migrate to the other.... the universe has won this one.
I fucking hate you. Some slutty looking drunk chick backed her ass up across the bar and started grinding on you. You ignored her because you didn't want to share you drink
I care about my drink far more than her feelings
29 Times Beach Sex Ended With Sand In All The Wrong Places
Me, him and the recently stolen carpet walked down the road and into the strip club. We had to check the carpet with our coats, it didn't mind missing out too much, later the door guy at Subway held carpet during late night sandwich selection.
I saw a groundgog last night outside my back door. I now have a new wedding gift idea.
I've been here 20 minutes and a sweaty naked man has kissed me on the cheek.
You FaceTimed me at three in the morning while you were peeing. Your eyes were glazed over and you showed me your bellybutton.
We drunkenly built a couch fort and fucked in it. I've known her since preschool. This was every childhood fantasy mixed with adult dreams come true.
Last night I made him sit on my bed and finish my burrito bowl as I chanted "brucey" over and over until he was done like they did in Matilda with the chocolate cake