every time you feel disappointed with the red wings take a shot
so im goin to clemson & my drug dealers goin to penn state. this is the hardest breakup EVER.
July 5th AKA Day of regret AKA picnicing in a laundromat. Someone puked allover the comforter. Liffe of champions.
So after this weekend I think I'm gonna go down on one knee and propose to my boyfriend that he give me his liver.
Today's work quote "if I looked like you, I'd be sitting on everyones face"
I woke up to see that I had ripped my boxers into a loin cloth because we were watching last of the mohicans
Dude, if I don't end up wearing a banana suit in Milwaukee, I will consider that trip a complete failure.
Well I walked the wrong way for a little bit and I don't remember if I fell asleep or not but I definitely laid down under the over pass for a while
Today, my weed came in a pokéball. I officially love my dealer.
I smoked all his weed and he hasn't noticed yet. But I might need a place to crash when he does
He took some pill and now he's on all fours demanding we give him chips from the dog bowl. Come get him.
Is it in poor taste to drop acid before midnight mass?
I love this.
We're so high we're eating flavored lube.
Everyone else's "needs" are getting in the way of my alcoholism.
Nah, we’re just sitting around talking about different kinds of boners
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