I think it's just because she's got "I'll sleep with anyone with a decent car" written all over her face.
My underwear smells like fireworks.
his penis is like a homeless cat. ever since I've satisfied him he keeps showing up on my doorstep ask for more.
She's like Mona Lisa when she's intoxicated. No one understands her but they all think she's marvelous
These 25 People Had Very Inappropriate Sexual Relations(hips)
Of course he got arrested. He was wearing a toga. Even Tom Hanks couldn't act sober in a toga.
just overheard a conversation that ended in "and that's what I learned in France" How could that not have been about sex
Speaking of morons, I just found half a Subway sandwich in the bathroom drawer You or your brother?
There's a certain level of slut that i can handle.... I think she just broke that scale
What ever happened to the whole 'innocent until proven guilty' thing. Like 'not pregnant until proven pregnant'. That's how it should be...
These 31 People Are Lazier Than You Could Ever Imagine
Her mom offered to give me a lap dance. I was a guest, I couldn't say no.
SIMBAAAA REMEBER WHO YOU ARE
He burnt his arm on the grill, then turned around and started blaming it on the burger buns...I think it's safe to say he's drunk.
He put chocks of wood in front of his doors to stop me from leaving. I'm not nearly drunk enough for that to be appropriate behaviour.
That's the 3rd time I've gone home with her and she passed out on me. I poured 6 boxes of cereal on her and left
Would it be irresponsible to use my tax refund for a boob job?
Yes. Highly encouraged though.