my iphone just auto-corrected drink to drnknghhhg...
Im a photoshop master, i successfully reduced the size of the pupils of all the girls I made out last night with to prove they were not that drunk. So glad the camera goes home with me.
i woke up to find out i googled the Twilight Eclipse trailer. so either drunk me doesn't know that i'm straight, or sober me doesn't know that i'm gay
tuesday night obama will do an address about the oil spill at 8... it'll only be about 15 minutes... but i think thats plenty of time for a drinking game. key words "oil" "bp" and "responsibility"?
Fuck yes. Let's make bingo cards.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
its not that she doesnt like having sex with you, your balls just smell worst then your ass.
I came over to his house for a party and realized I was quoted on the fridge... "How'd I get rug burn on my face?" And yes, my name was right next to it!
Our brains have an emergency blowjob override switch. You saw proof tonight.
THERE WAS A HANDPRINT OF BLOOD ON HIS SHOULDER
I will give you all my nachos to make this happen
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
While you were hooking up with her I pulled you off to make sure you knew what you were doing.
You said you were "testing the product for Chris."
I'm a bad man.
I cried singing "call me maybe" on the way home from the bar. What the fuck
Going to the beach. Greeting Sandy with a blunt. Wish us luck!
STOP SETTING ME UP WITH GUYS YOU MEET ON CRAIGSLIST
I am a good friend because I got you a bagel. I am a bad friend because I ate half of it.
Sober sex is weird like I didn't expect this when I got clean
Randomize